Swim the Fly

 By Don Calame

A Book Review by Charlie Gilbert

This story is a fictional novel which made me laugh right up to the end. It is a story about a teenage boy named Matt Gratton and his friends Coop and Sean. What happens is every year they set themselves a goal and this year’s goal is to see a live naked girl.

In their swim squad is a new girl named Kelly who Matt is keen to impress, so when the swim coach asks for volunteers to swim 4 lengths Butterfly Matt decides to put up his hand.

Matt lives with his family which includes a crazy Grandad with a goatee who is trying to pick up the widow lady down the road!  His plan includes getting Matt to help him.

Matt and his friends try all sorts of schemes to achieve their goal of seeing a girl while Matt tries to train in private ready for the big race.  He even takes some protein powder from his Mum which turn out to be laxatives.

 They heard that a girl they want to see naked is going to a community centre so they dress up like girls. In the changing room he sees Matt sees Kelly and quickly runs into a toilet stall and this is when the laxatives decide to come out!!  His named underpants end up blocking the girl’s toilets and cause a major flood!

Kelly’s best friend Valerie is kind and Matt enjoys her company and likes to ask her lots of questions about Kelly.

There are many funny moments in this story including a party and Matt nearly having his appendix removed.

The ending is a real happy one for Matt, his friends and the girls.

I think the author was saying to never be afraid to step up to challenges in your life and that sometimes the best things have been right in front of you the whole time.

This novel was easy to read with small chapters and hard to put down.  It made me laugh out loud as I read it.  I enjoyed reading about the challenges of swimming and hard work.

I would recommend this book to anyone who likes to laugh, people who enjoy stories about teenage life and to those who enjoy swimming.  It contains some rude words but I think it seems appropriate for this story.

Our soccor game was defaulted today so I'm watching 2 Fast 2 Furious on tv and also the commonwealth games.  I love watching the swimming, they are so fast.
Ben came to stay for the last two nights but we didn't get to do much around swimming and school.  We have a new pet lamb, a wee boy which Dad says we can't keep but Mum wants to, he is real cute, his Mum died.  We might go to Dunedin later today after Danny's soccor it is Danny's birthday on Monday and he's pretty excited about it, I know what he's getting but won't tell him.

Well, it is nearly the end of the holidays they went too quick!
We went out for dinner last night to Fat Sally's which was yummy.  This last week I have been swimming and playing with Dad on the Xbox.  We got a new game called Don Bradman Cricket.  Don was the best batsman in the world and played for Australia.  We have had a lot of laughs playing each other I am usually Australia and Dad is New Zealand. Don Bradman is the only player who doesn't wear any helmet because he played 80 years ago when they didn't wear them.  I won most of the games because Australia are good all-rounders.
I bowled Dad's best batsman on the very first ball which was especially good because Dad had been skiting before he came out.
On the way to swimming last night it was all quiet and I was putting on my shoes at he back door, I heard a noise like horses running, next minute around the corner came Mr Grinch chased by Benson it looked hilarious.

We have just arrived back from a night away in Omarama.  We visited Lake Tekapo for the day and went to the hot pools and ice skating.  Danny and Dad went on the snow park slides but the wait for a turn in line was very long!  I asked Dad if I was old enough for the adult pool he said NO! I did a huge fart at the Tekapo café and everyone turned around.
When we went through Twizel my Dad said there was a beautiful camping ground and we should stay there, when we saw it we couldn't believe our eyes, the cabins were old with missing windows and there was just enough room to lie down, this was Dads idea of a joke which no one thought was funny.  We had dinner at the pub.  I had a great pie at the bakery in Fairlie.  On the way home we stopped to look at the Waitaki Dam.  When we got home Mum opened the door and Mr Grinch our cat ran out - he had been locked inside all this time!  We searched the house for any poos but he had managed to hold on, good boy!!!!

Today we had a relaxing day at home, Danny and I played Minecraft on the Xbox.  This afternoon we went out on our motorbikes down the road, Dad's four wheeler is slow compared to my Yamaha 80PWC , Mum was cross because I fed Benson again and now he is obese.

I had a real hard swim tonight. We were real lucky our coach gave us some Hero Cards which are cards that you get when you shop at countdown. Every $20 you spend you get a Hero Card. But on Sunday they stopped selling them which disappointed the people who didn't finish the Hero Cards series. Apparently Dunedin schools couldn't swap any more cards because everyone fights over them and it doesn't end that flash. 

This is my 3rd week of swimming mornings.  I am really enjoying it and its getting easier to get up at 530am.  My favourite is Friday morning because Dad takes me out for breakfast after swimming, we usually go to MacDonalds but this last time we went to Subway.  I tried a bacon egg and cheese sub which I thought would be disgusting with the egg bit but to my surprise it tasted delicious!!  I wanted it again for tea that night.  Today we had soccor and had to go to Waimate, half the team got lost so we played quite late, on the way home Nicholas and I ate all the chocolates when his Dad wasn't looking and Nicholas hid the wrappers in the car door handles.  I think he saw them but didn't say anything.  We won the game.
I am looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow, Dad says we are not allowed to get up until 830 but I bet Danny wakes everyone up early as usual!!!!!!!!!

I think it is very important that everyone knows how to swim so I will tell you how to the strokes.

                                     History

Competitive swimming started in Europe in the 1800s mostly using breaststroke. Swimming was part of the modern Olympic Games in 1896. Drawings from the Stone Age were found in the cave of swimmers near wadi Sara in the southwest part of Egypt. The Greeks did not include swimming in the ancient Olympics but practiced the sport very often. Usually they would build swimming pools as their baths. The Germanic folkore describes swimming as a successful way of using in wars against the Romans. Swimming competitors are also known in that time.

                                  Freestyle

Now I will teach you about Freestyle. First you need to be able to float and put your head under the water. Then you need to be able to kick with a board and also pop up breath. Then you have to bring one arm over at a time over your head. You also need to do long stretch arms. Again you also need good rotation in your shoulders.

                               Backstroke

Now you need to know how to do Backstroke you need good rotation in your shoulders and bring one arm over your head and behind. Also keep your eyes looking at the roof of the swimming pool> Again when you stretch your arms you go faster. Your pinkie enters the water first. You also need to have a good kick to get you going faster.

                                  Breaststroke

Finally I will tell you about my best stroke Breaststroke. It takes a long time to get the hang of it. First you turn your feet out and keep your knees together. Then you turn your legs out. If you want to go faster and you don’t get tired as quick.

                                   Tumble turns

In Squad you can’t stop at the wall and do a tumble turn. Which is a forward roll at the wall and then push off.

                                          Diving

We also have to in Squad Dive into the water in Squad. You put your left foot at the back of the block and your other at the other side of the block. Then you put your hands by your feet then push off

Charlie Gilbert            

                            

Its very wet today at our place I am home sick at home with a cold. Our interschool has been cancelled today So I think my class mates won't be happy

Last night we went to Dunedin to see the All Blacks, we had awesome seats two rows back from the front.  we were very close when the All Blacks were warming up.  The funniest thing we saw was a man in the nude running out onto the field he was a streaker.  One of the stadium people sprinted after the nude man and made the best tackle of the night.  The crowd cheered and cheered and the police took him away.  The people behind us were drunk and swearing a lot.
We went to Filadelfios for dinner before the game and saw some of the England players having tea there.  I got a new All Black top, we also went to the museum and I got a nail art board that you press your face into to make shapes.  Danny and I made butt cheek prints in it, it was so funny.

We are going to the all blacks game in Dunedin tomorrow night I will tell you how well the all blacks play I will also tell you about our soccer tomorrow. My Dad got in a draw to win my Mum an all blacks top.  Today Dad said some of the neighbours sheep escaped down the road, Dad ended up finding two of them in our garden, Mum was not happy!!
Tonight I'm going to watch Grown Ups 2 that I recorded on mysky.  I love the part when they jump off the rocks in the nude, so funny!  I missed swimming tonight, Mum and Dad thought I was too tired but I don't think so.

At school I have been doing speech and drama which we learn how to talk in front of lots of people

On Sunday morning  me and my dad were going to go around the farm. I went to get my hat but it smelled of urine. So I got Danny my younger brother to smell it and he said it smelled. When I got home my Mum said that mice had been living in our hats so that explained it. My Mum made my Dad sniff the hats to see if they needed a wash because she thought there would be a mouse in the hat basket. Lucky my cricket bag was zipped up.

On the Queens Birthday weekend  me and my friend Mannix, also my brother and a lot of other people went to Moana pool in Dunedin for a swim meet.
We stayed at Dunedin holiday park and got to play on devices, we also had free internet.
We were racing 150 other people from different towns or city's in my age group. I got 25th for the stroke I was fastest at-breaststroke!
We had dinner at this place called Waterloo which was real nice. For lunch we had fill your own wraps but I made a burger instead it was a real fun weekend. People were making fart noises late the first night and the girls next to our room were banging on the walls, everyone got told off, our ipods were confiscated except my other friend who had an mp3 player because he was being quiet and listening to music.
My friend Mannix was snoring a bit and all the parents said our room smelt bad, I couldn't smell it.  Neither could any of my roomies.
We could smell something around the toilet so maybe someone didn't flush???

 

Last Friday me and my class went to St Kevin's collage to go and do technology which is we go to St Kevin's for the day. I and my group were doing art and we were working with clay. We had to go to the school library to research. We had to make a water creature that lived in the sea. I decided to make a boat because I thought no one else would do one. We didn't have time to make our sea creatures so we made cups instead.      

Welcome to my blog this is where I will put what I am learning